This article appeared in The Banner –Thursday, February 22, 2007
By Joni Koogler
BANNER CORRESPONDENT
BOYLSTON— Just when you think your hands are full, imagine a dining room table with 12 chairs around it, enough for 10 children and two parents. That's what you'll find in the Heritage Lane home of Carle and Debbie Sargent.
"Oh, we don't usually sit down to eat all at one time, but everyone's got a chair if we do," said Debbie Sargent.
"Yeah, it's usually the little ones all together, then the older ones. Everyone has their own things to do, and we all pitch in," Carle Sargent said. "The little ones usually set the places, the older ones help clean up. It all works out."
This mother and father of 10 children have six girls and four boys. Three of the children are biological and seven are adopted, and there is no discernment between the two. The family seems to have ways to make everything work out, just like at the dinner table.
A house expansion last year allowed them to add enough bedrooms so that each of the children has his or her own room.
"We really needed the space, and it was a great thing for everybody to get their own room," Debbie said, walking through the tidy home.
"Everyone's responsible for their own room," Carle said.
"And they do a pretty good job, some better than others," Debbie said, chuckling and stopping to pick up a stray sock on the floor.
"But we even did the house expansion ourselves, with a lot of help from our parents. We poured the concrete and everything," Debbie said.
Each child was allowed to pick the color of paint for the walls of his or her room, and the style each room sports.
"We were able to do the house expansion for $80,000. One contractor we got a quote from wanted $280,000 to do the work. We really saved a lot doing it ourselves," Debbie said.
"It was a lot of work, but it was good," Carle agreed.
Debbie, a Hudson native, and Carle, who hails from Bolton, met when both were students at North AdamsState. Their union and ensuing family just seemed to evolve naturally.
Asked what prompted them to form such a large family, both shrugged and smiled.
"We didn't plan this. But you don't have to be superhuman to do this," Carle said. "Once you get the skill sets you need to do this, you're set. We did, and we felt we could do a good job with this."
"I was adopted, so that's where the idea started with me," Debbie said.
"And I worked for an adoption agency, Downey Side. They're in Springfield, and that really helped set us further on the road," Carle said.
The couple has been married 17 years. Their three biological daughters were born in the early to mid-1990s: Robin, in 1991; Julie in 1993; and Emily in 1996. The Sargents adopted their first two children, Anna, 10, and Scott, 7, in 1998. The second adoption, of one child, Justin, 3, was a year after that.
In 2005, Rocky, 8, Cora, 6, Shawn, 5, and Stariona, 4, joined the Sargent family.
"We think we're done, now," Carle said, laughing and looking toward Debbie.
"Oh, yes. We're done," she said with a smile.
To support this big family, the pair run a wedding photography business, Prism Weddings. But, managing a household with 10 children and running a business isn't enough for Debbie and Carle. Last year, they started their own non-profit adoption agency, USAdoption Solutions (see sidebar, page 4).
"The agency is really in its infancy stages," Carle said. "We really want to raise awareness about adoption."
An RV parked in their driveway is painted with red, white and blue advertisements for USAdoption Solutions.
"The RV was donated by Giant RV World. It's our roving billboard, our best advertisement," Carle said.
"There are 500,000 children available for adoption in the U.S. Of those, 120,000 are special needs. Those words scare people, but special needs can be something like being a minority, or that they're part of a sibling group. They might have emotional special needs, or might have some other sort of disability. But they need a home," Carle said.
Debbie was quick to clarify the "special needs" label.
"Five of our 10 kids have slight special needs," she said. "But those special needs are things like delayed reading, or being a bit behind for their age in school because their homes and schools were switched so often before we got them. One of our children, Justin, was tongue-tied until he was 3, and he also had a loss of hearing in one ear. Now, all that is cleared up."
Debbie credits one of her other children with making Justin's transition into his new home with the Sargents easier.
"Emily was just great with Justin. She's his same age, and she was his translator. She was the only one who understood him, at first. She really made it easier for him and for us. They're the same age, and she still helps him," Deb said.
"Oh, there are issues to each day. We just deal with whatever it is," Carle said with a chuckle.
And that is where USAdoption Solutions can fit into others lives too, with its goal of spreading awareness.
"We want everyone to know what support systems are there, and there really are a lot," he said.
The Sargent children, as well, are involved in the agency.
"Julie's helping us with fundraising. She's our spokesperson," Carle said.
"All the kids are doing what they can to help," Debbie added.
The Sargent family has everyone doing what they can all the time to make things work in their own home.
"We're super organized," Debbie said.
"We're regimented," Carle agreed, smiling.
Organization of everything is key.
Friday is laundry day for the Sargents.
"I have them bring all their laundry downstairs. I do it from 6 a.m. to midnight, 12-15 loads. Everybody has their own basket, and I just put it into the baskets when it's clean. The kids fold it and put it away," Debbie said. "I do one load for each person. The socks are color-coded by stitching colors. It a system that works for us."
When the Sargent children arrive home from school, each one files into the mudroom just off the kitchen. Coats, boots, backpacks and any other school baggage are left in lockers that are labeled with each child's name.
"I got these lockers on e-bay for like, $30," Debbie said with a laugh. "There was some place looking to get rid of them, and I grabbed them."
The Sargent family also has its share of pets: two cats, two turtles and four fish round out the family ranks.
"We've got it all," Debbie said.
Asked how she felt about being the oldest of 10 children, Anna, 19, a student at QuinsigamondCommunity College smiled and said: "It's fun."
Stariona, 5, was as glib as her oldest sister, when asked how she likes being the youngest of the Sargents' 10 children.
"I think it's fun, but I don't like Scott," she said, giggling and shaking her head.
Scott, it seems, is guilty of frequently teasing the youngest Sargent.
The Sargents seem unflustered by the constant, day-to-day issues that arise with 10 children; always finding a way to deal with whatever happens.
Right now, their three bathrooms, two full and one half, get pretty regular and heavy use.
"But we need a second water heater, now," Debbie said.
"Sometimes we don't have enough hot water all the time," Carle agreed.
Neither parent, though, seems uptight or nervous about the water heater or any other imminent problem facing their family.
Debbie summed up the couple's view of their family and the issues they deal with each day succinctly: "It doesn't faze us anymore. It's our family and that's that."